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Common Reasons Why Couples Get Divorced

Some couples, despite years of marriage and the demands of work, are able to: put their relationship first; remain attractive for and to one another: continue to create excitement in their lives, which helps reignite their passion: and, talk about sex openly and about everything else.

Unfortunately, many other couples never get to enjoy this level of closeness or maturity in their marital union, splitting up later in life due to: inability to resolve conflicts; ceasing to become attentive and attractive to and for each other, leading to feeling bored; sexual incompatibility, which results from loss or lack of the show of being romantic; and, marrying for the wrong reason, or marrying for money, which is also the quickest way to divorce.

Though a complex, process, many still rather divorce their marital partner rather than continue living a life that no longer allows personal growth and marital fulfillment. Divorce, however, can be emotionally draining and demoralizing, according to marriage counselors and divorce lawyers, especially if the divorcing couple ends up in court in order to settle all issues related to it, such as child custody, visitation rights, child support, spousal support and division of assets, properties and debts.

In the past, divorce was settled only in court; modern times, however, offer divorcing couples different options on how to end their union and settle all divorce-related issues in ways that are faster, cheaper and more peaceful. These various ways, and their difference from court-litigated or contested divorce, include:

  • Contested Divorce (also called court-litigated divorce) This is the traditional way of ending a marital union. It is settled in a family court, open to the public and can drag on for months or years depending on the number of divorce-related issues that need to be settled and how fast the spouses are able to agree on these issues.
  • In this adversarial divorce process, divorcing spouses, through their lawyers, discredit one another in their attempt to win the favor of the judge who will decide on all divorce issues. Aside from a judge making all decisions, contested divorce also usually turn spouses bitter towards one another and make each other feel devastated and destitute.
  • Uncontested Divorce. Besides arriving at a settlement without having to go to trial, this divorce process is quicker and cheaper compared to contested divorce. Uncontested divorce is a private process. Though it does not require spouses to agree immediately on the issues that need settlement, negotiations are made to iron out disagreements. The main issue about this type of divorce is, despite the disagreements and the need to negotiate, the spouses remain to be in control and are sure to get through everything.
  • Divorce Mediation. This private, out-of-court legal faster and cheaper procedure allows spouses to settle all divorce-related issues by themselves. A mediator, who is a neutral third party chosen by the spouses, sits with them to help them reach an agreement. This mediator does not make any decisions regarding any issues as these are made by the spouses themselves. Part of what he/she does is make sure that the spouses are able to talk and argue openly, but in a way which will not destroy the amicable process which they chose to settle all issues at hand. Each spouse may or may not be represented by an attorney, who can help them understand the legal matters related to divorce and know if the agreement arrived at is reasonable and worth signing.
  • Collaborative Divorce. In this type of divorce process, both spouses have their respective lawyers who, with the spouses, work cooperatively in settling the divorce case. For fair negotiations, it is necessary that each spouse discloses all important information that will affect the divorce and all related issues. In the event that this process does not settle the divorce case, each spouse will have to hire new attorneys who will take the case to trial.

As explained in the website of the Maynard Law Firm, PLLC, “Ending a marriage can be a complicated and emotionally charged experience. Even the simplest family law matters can have lasting consequence for yourself, your family, and your finances. As such, if you are considering a divorce, you need to make sure that you have an experienced attorney on your side who can walk you through this difficult time and ensure that your best interests are protected.”